Have a cup of tea

It's a universal time honoured response to trouble and stress: the ritual of making it, offering it, the sharing and drinking of it.

Self care strategy from Heather Fox, MSW

5-4-3-2-1 Relaxation technique

The following technique is very powerful, and can be used to relax in stressful situations; to help re-center yourself or reconnect yourself to the present moment; to help fall asleep; to help relieve pain; and to deal with anxiety attacks.

If pain or discomfort, or anxiety symptoms are present, allow these to be one sensation you notice, but invite yourself to begin noticing other, more subtle, sensations as well.

This technique can be safely done anywhere and at anytime, except while driving or biking, as it often narrows peripheral vision. It is most helpful when done aloud, but can be silently as well.

• Begin by finding a relatively comfortable position for your body, and something pleasant to focus your eyes on. Keep you head relatively still. Your eyes can remain open throughout the exercise, unless you have a pleasant urge to close them, or are using the technique to fall asleep.


• Begin naming aloud 5 sights, 5 sounds, and 5 physical sensations you are aware of. Repeating an item seen, heard or felt is perfectly okay. Count on your fingers if this is helpful.


• Proceed to 4 sights, 4 sounds, and 4 physical sensations. If you lose count, simply begin again where you think you were... then 3 things, then 2 things... continue counting down and naming until you reach 1 of each category.

When you reach 1 sight, 1 sound, and 1 physical sensation, you can choose whether to repeat the whole exercise again to deepen the effect.

When you feel finished, take a minute to reorient yourself to the present by counting yourself up through five breaths, becoming increasingly alert at each breath.


*Technique shared by Michele Butot, MSW, Psychosocial Course of the Dying and Bereaved, 2008

Reflections on simplicity in caregiving

For the purpose of this reflection, I'm going to focus on the concept of simplicity in my family caregiving role as opposed to the inevitable caregiving that comes with my work. When I think of the word "simplicity", I am referring to what it means to take time to clarify what is important and allowing the nonessentials fall away. I can say without a doubt that I have never been able to do this, but I think is something to strive for.

Often in my own role as a caregiver, I let my perception of what caregiving "should" look like cloud what could be. I've come up with endless reasons why a task has to be done a certain way, carried unrealistic expectations with me about a variety of things, and in particular, have allowed my sense of responsibility and modelling to guide my interactions. I have never simply just been myself in this role and have often wondered why that seems so impossible for me. Is it because of my view of this role? Or possibly because I don't believe that my true self will be seen by those I'm caring for, even if I showed myself? Or is it because when you're caring for someone whom you share love, it's too personal, too close? I have no idea what the answers are.

I wonder how much of myself would organically shine through if I simplified everything. For Mother's Day last weekend, I planned a tea for my mom and then arranged for us to paint clay mugs at a local art store. For as much time and effort that went into the tea, it wasn't necessary or even all that enjoyable. It was the painting where both my mom and I were able to let more of our true selves shine through together than has in years - and if I'd simplified everything in my planning, removed expectations and allowed simplicity to be enough, I would have seen that. There are so many other interactions I have with my parents in this role where I know the same would be true.

This is all just my own personal reflections and food for thought. I wonder how much time and energy we all would save ourselves if we invited more simplicity into our caregiving role. I wonder how many tasks would become easier, and our interactions more genuine and fun. This is something I plan to experiment with more.

Talk to your neighbours

Talk to your neighbours and help to encourage a community of mutual support. A network of friendly neighbours offers the potential for dealing effectively with a whole range of difficulties - from letting an electrician into your house while you're at work, to watering your plants while you're away on vacation.

*Self care practice from Mike George