Have a cup of tea

It's a universal time honoured response to trouble and stress: the ritual of making it, offering it, the sharing and drinking of it.

Self care strategy from Heather Fox, MSW

5-4-3-2-1 Relaxation technique

The following technique is very powerful, and can be used to relax in stressful situations; to help re-center yourself or reconnect yourself to the present moment; to help fall asleep; to help relieve pain; and to deal with anxiety attacks.

If pain or discomfort, or anxiety symptoms are present, allow these to be one sensation you notice, but invite yourself to begin noticing other, more subtle, sensations as well.

This technique can be safely done anywhere and at anytime, except while driving or biking, as it often narrows peripheral vision. It is most helpful when done aloud, but can be silently as well.

• Begin by finding a relatively comfortable position for your body, and something pleasant to focus your eyes on. Keep you head relatively still. Your eyes can remain open throughout the exercise, unless you have a pleasant urge to close them, or are using the technique to fall asleep.


• Begin naming aloud 5 sights, 5 sounds, and 5 physical sensations you are aware of. Repeating an item seen, heard or felt is perfectly okay. Count on your fingers if this is helpful.


• Proceed to 4 sights, 4 sounds, and 4 physical sensations. If you lose count, simply begin again where you think you were... then 3 things, then 2 things... continue counting down and naming until you reach 1 of each category.

When you reach 1 sight, 1 sound, and 1 physical sensation, you can choose whether to repeat the whole exercise again to deepen the effect.

When you feel finished, take a minute to reorient yourself to the present by counting yourself up through five breaths, becoming increasingly alert at each breath.


*Technique shared by Michele Butot, MSW, Psychosocial Course of the Dying and Bereaved, 2008

Reflections on simplicity in caregiving

For the purpose of this reflection, I'm going to focus on the concept of simplicity in my family caregiving role as opposed to the inevitable caregiving that comes with my work. When I think of the word "simplicity", I am referring to what it means to take time to clarify what is important and allowing the nonessentials fall away. I can say without a doubt that I have never been able to do this, but I think is something to strive for.

Often in my own role as a caregiver, I let my perception of what caregiving "should" look like cloud what could be. I've come up with endless reasons why a task has to be done a certain way, carried unrealistic expectations with me about a variety of things, and in particular, have allowed my sense of responsibility and modelling to guide my interactions. I have never simply just been myself in this role and have often wondered why that seems so impossible for me. Is it because of my view of this role? Or possibly because I don't believe that my true self will be seen by those I'm caring for, even if I showed myself? Or is it because when you're caring for someone whom you share love, it's too personal, too close? I have no idea what the answers are.

I wonder how much of myself would organically shine through if I simplified everything. For Mother's Day last weekend, I planned a tea for my mom and then arranged for us to paint clay mugs at a local art store. For as much time and effort that went into the tea, it wasn't necessary or even all that enjoyable. It was the painting where both my mom and I were able to let more of our true selves shine through together than has in years - and if I'd simplified everything in my planning, removed expectations and allowed simplicity to be enough, I would have seen that. There are so many other interactions I have with my parents in this role where I know the same would be true.

This is all just my own personal reflections and food for thought. I wonder how much time and energy we all would save ourselves if we invited more simplicity into our caregiving role. I wonder how many tasks would become easier, and our interactions more genuine and fun. This is something I plan to experiment with more.

Talk to your neighbours

Talk to your neighbours and help to encourage a community of mutual support. A network of friendly neighbours offers the potential for dealing effectively with a whole range of difficulties - from letting an electrician into your house while you're at work, to watering your plants while you're away on vacation.

*Self care practice from Mike George

Make use of your benefits

I have been fairly good lately at practicing what I preached a few months back about finding time for meditation. I have joined a weekly meditation group, but seem to experience head aches and pain in my back and shoulders right afterwards. I spoke to the facilitator about why this may be happening, he explained that when you meditate, it brings your awareness into the moment ... aches and pains that are always there on a low level are noticed.

I've had access to a benefits package from my work for nearly a year but the only one I've taken advantage of is a couple of dental visits. There are so many other great benefits included in my package that I have not even thought use ... such as acupuncture, massage therapy, visits to natural paths, etc. Why haven't I been caring for myself in this way all along?! After yet another somewhat grueling meditation session a few weeks ago I booked a visit to see a massage therapist and am already noticing a huge difference. I'm happy to report that today's meditation was pain free. Keeping my body happy seems to have a direct relationship to my inner peace and happiness. I think we can all agree that experiencing pain can be one of the fastest ways to put you in a bad mood, and blow regular life stresses out of proportion. Often pain and stress is experienced at that low, nearly unnoticeable level, but it is always with us unless we tend to it.

If you have a benefits package, I highly recommend that you start treating yourself to one (or all!) of them. It is one of the easiest and affordable ways that we can care for ourselves.

Journaling

I have been struggling in the last while with some blues ... with talk of the economy, the recession, ongoing violence, and the endless negativity put out by the media, I have found that somewhere along the way I temporarily lost my normally upbeat, positive self. I have been finding it easier to see the negative over the positive in the world (and in my own world). I came to the point recently where I felt it was time to move away from those feelings and search for the positive and truly care for myself by taking control of them. Times of blues that we all go through is a true test of the power of self care.

I was able to care for myself through journaling last week. My journal is something I seem to turn to only in "bad" times, and somehow forget to tend to it during the good ... but it doesn't seem to care about the kind of news I bring, it is always there when I need to use it. It doesn't judge me for the lack of attention that I give it, or the darkness that I bring to it at times. This is a place where I feel very safe getting some of the blues and negativity out of my system, and the process of writing with good old fashion pen and paper seems to bring such clarity for me. It has reminded me that my positive self is still present, just needing an extra nudge to make more than an occasional appearance ... a realization that has been very comforting for me.

Wear slippers at home

Practice making your home peaceful by wearing slippers. Try keeping them by the front door so you can slip into them when you enter.


*Self care practice from Mike George